Endure

  

" Ujian itu tanda Dia sayang bukan ? Jadi bagainmana kita nak tahu kita dapat tempuhi ujian itu ?

Bila terima ujian , kau akan cakap Alhamdulillah .

Dan tika itu, mungkin kau sudah lulus :) "

These few days , kekerapan migrain dan gastrik aku makin kerap .

Orang kata sebab kerja aku makin banyak .

Tak . Bukan sebab kerja .

Aku pasti bukan sebab kerja-II persatuan aku .

Sebabnya , aku dah lepaskan banyak jawatan aku .

Dan kerja aku makin sikit . Srsly .

Ada orang kata mungkin aku stress study CVS .

Atau mungkin aku dah fed up bila dapat keputusan exam CNS hari itu ?

Tak . Sebab result CNS hari itu aku ada semangat baru .

Mana mungkin aku fed up CVS sebab result CNS .

I know . People will get sick of me .

Sebab selalu sangat sakit .

The fact is , I'm also get sick of myself .

" Ayiz pura-II sakit atau sakit betul ? "

" Tak datang kelas lagi Ayiz today ? "

Dude , kau ingat seronok ke pura-II sakit ?

Dude , kalau aku datang kelas , bila aku sakit dekat kelas , korang marah aku datang kelas .

Bila aku tak datang , aku dapat ayat aku pura-II sakit ?

And dude , kau ingat seronok ke tak datang kelas bila miss semua practical and lectures .

Please , this kind of thought will trigger my stress .

Please , stop this kind of thought .

I know , all of you tired because of me .

And you know what , I'm tired of myself too .

Buat apa aku nak berpura-II , kalau aku berpura you know senang je Allah nak bagi aku betul-II sakit.

" Kenapa doe kau tak makan ubat je ? "

You know what , toxic dalam badan aku sebab ubat-II dah banyak .

Ubat yang aku ambil dose dia tinggi , yknow , I've to think about that too bila aku nak makan ubat .

Kau ingat aku saje-II taknak makan ubat ?

And I think , I know why this happened .

It just maybe , it maybe because I endure this pain by myself .

And because of that , my physical and mental are not in such a good condition .

Balik kepada Tuhan , Ayiz .

Kita hidup berTuhan .

Don't endure it by yourself . 

I know , you can't make your parents worried , and your siblings too .

But yeah , He's always there for you .

Sebab kau hidup berTuhan , perkara ini hanya ujian .

Alhamdulillah .

Thankyou for those who always be there , be patient with me when I've my migraine and gastric .

And I'm sorry , for making all of you worried .

And sick of me .

I'm sorry , truely sorry ..