Acting

" Expectation kills; to much expectation can leads to sadness "

Assalamualaikum wbt semua 😊

Its have been 5 months kan since my last post in this blog, I'm sorry, banyak je benda nak cerita. But too many social accounts makes me forget this blog ): Tapi since my blog is always my good therapy when I'm stressed out, tambah2 bila nak exam ni and I always love to write what the thingss that messed up my mind.

Kadang-II, leaving far away from your family, from your lovely hometown, really forced you to be a tough person. Not you wanna to be, but yes you've too. And kadang-II tu bukan you're a tough person, you just acting to be. So that everyone will not worry a single things about you. 

Dekat sini, I really hate home. Bukan sebab housemate tak best, bukan sebab rumah tak selesa, but I hate the feeling of being alone in my room. Down semacam bila duduk rumah. Down to the bottom really. I would love to have a roommate, but I don't know who can bear with my behaviour. Thats why, I'm prefer to do things with PCI because I dont have to be at home. Keluar pagi, balik malam. Yes mmg exhauted. But thats how I can be more tougher than now. Home is just a place for me to get my wifi, contact with my lovely people, sleep, study a bit and thats it. 

Kadang-II I'm tired to act like I'm a tough person. Penat. Penat sangat. People always asked me are you okay? No I'm not okay. I never be okay. But yes, because I'm far away from those people who can comfort me, so..

I need to be okay.

Lama lagi nak balik Malaysia. Might be a year, might be 2 years. Pray for me here, to be really okay, not just acting to be okay.

Things get more harder lately, I need to be okay.