" Ujian itu tanda Dia sayang bukan ? Jadi bagainmana kita nak tahu kita dapat tempuhi ujian itu ?
Bila terima ujian , kau akan cakap Alhamdulillah .
Dan tika itu, mungkin kau sudah lulus :) "
These few days , kekerapan migrain dan gastrik aku makin kerap .
Orang kata sebab kerja aku makin banyak .
Tak . Bukan sebab kerja .
Aku pasti bukan sebab kerja-II persatuan aku .
Sebabnya , aku dah lepaskan banyak jawatan aku .
Dan kerja aku makin sikit . Srsly .
Ada orang kata mungkin aku stress study CVS .
Atau mungkin aku dah fed up bila dapat keputusan exam CNS hari itu ?
Tak . Sebab result CNS hari itu aku ada semangat baru .
Mana mungkin aku fed up CVS sebab result CNS .
I know . People will get sick of me .
Sebab selalu sangat sakit .
The fact is , I'm also get sick of myself .
" Ayiz pura-II sakit atau sakit betul ? "
" Tak datang kelas lagi Ayiz today ? "
Dude , kau ingat seronok ke pura-II sakit ?
Dude , kalau aku datang kelas , bila aku sakit dekat kelas , korang marah aku datang kelas .
Bila aku tak datang , aku dapat ayat aku pura-II sakit ?
And dude , kau ingat seronok ke tak datang kelas bila miss semua practical and lectures .
Please , this kind of thought will trigger my stress .
Please , stop this kind of thought .
I know , all of you tired because of me .
And you know what , I'm tired of myself too .
Buat apa aku nak berpura-II , kalau aku berpura you know senang je Allah nak bagi aku betul-II sakit.
" Kenapa doe kau tak makan ubat je ? "
You know what , toxic dalam badan aku sebab ubat-II dah banyak .
Ubat yang aku ambil dose dia tinggi , yknow , I've to think about that too bila aku nak makan ubat .
Kau ingat aku saje-II taknak makan ubat ?
And I think , I know why this happened .
It just maybe , it maybe because I endure this pain by myself .
And because of that , my physical and mental are not in such a good condition .
Balik kepada Tuhan , Ayiz .
Kita hidup berTuhan .
Don't endure it by yourself .
I know , you can't make your parents worried , and your siblings too .
But yeah , He's always there for you .
Sebab kau hidup berTuhan , perkara ini hanya ujian .
Alhamdulillah .
Thankyou for those who always be there , be patient with me when I've my migraine and gastric .
And I'm sorry , for making all of you worried .
And sick of me .
I'm sorry , truely sorry ..
